5 Ways To Deal With Toxic Parents

For many, family relationships are among the top types of relationships that are valued and considered a priority in a person’s life. Regardless of upbringing and life challenges, many report some form of a family presence in their lives. Just as in any relationship, sometimes family relationships bring about challenges and difficulties that require extra care and attention.

Individuals have reported things such as: Unhealthy parent/child relationships, Difficulties setting boundaries, gaslighting among family members, difficulties with forgiveness, Unresolved trauma or past situations, Communication struggles, unhealthy family dynamics and more. 

There are several factors to consider when dealing with toxic parents and this becomes difficult for many due to feelings of guilt, obligation, or maladaptive thinking that leads to cycles of abuse or mistreatment.

While there is no one size fits all approach to dealing with toxic parents, there are some things that individuals may be able to do in order to protect their peace, better manage their situations and find ways to navigate the tough situation.

Today I’m sharing with you 5 ways to deal with toxic parents.

1.       Set Strong Boundaries: I heard someone say that you can’t be upset with people for not respecting  boundaries that you refuse to set and enforce. I couldn’t agree more. When it comes to dealing with toxic parents,  you have to set boundaries in order to protect your peace.  We often have no control over the actions of others, and it’s important to understand that people will only change if they want to. Setting boundaries with parents may look like, walking away from disagreements that are headed in the wrong direction (yelling, screaming, etc.), limiting communication and visits as well as making decisions regarding the context of conversations and visits, and in some cases this may mean no communication or visits at all.

2.       Identify The Obligation: Many times when individuals are dealing with toxic parents, therapy involves them recognizing feelings of obligation associated with their parents. Some report feeling as though they owe their parents or they have to deal with the toxic relationship for different reasons. Identifying any feelings of being obligated and why those feelings exist as well as whether those feelings are factual can help individuals make better decisions that are not emotional decisions when dealing with toxic parents. You may ask yourself questions such as, “Do I feel obligated to put up with this because of things my parents have said to me?”

3.       Stop trying to change your parents: At the end of the day, people will not change unless they want to. Focus instead on being the best version of yourself that you can be and doing whatever is necessary to achieve that version of yourself. Work on accepting the fact that your parents may never change, because there is a possibility that they wont.

4.       Stop feeling like you have to attend holidays with your toxic parents: While spending holidays with family is something many report desiring to do, for some, doing so creates really nasty situations, increased anxiety, high stress and feelings of being completely miserable. If this is you, know that it’s okay to just say no and not go. You deserve to be happy on holidays and it’s okay to protect your peace.

5.       Take Care of yourself: In dealing with any difficult situation its so important that you always remember to take care of yourself. From basic needs like eating health and exercise to promote good physical health, to seeking therapy and doing a good bit of necessary work to make sure that you are well mentally and emotionally, you should always be making sure that you take care of yourself.

While there are many ways that one can approach dealing with toxic parents, this list can act as a basic framework for where to start if you are in need of some quick steps or things that you can start implementing today. In therapy you can work though issues related to toxic parents in more detail and address your specific needs as it relates to your situation. If you are experiencing anxiety, depression, high stress or other difficulties in life that may be related to dealing with toxic parents, I encourage you to explore your options for seeing a therapist. While the struggle may definitely be real, the goal is to overcome every mental encounter.

Our Team of licensed and trained therapist are ready to further assist you in processing your concerns related to having toxic parents. Start Your Therapy Journey Today.